my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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