It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
