my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
