remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This is my gift to your gina
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
