lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
