sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize