I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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