I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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