How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
