Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize