didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
