Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
