I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
