i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize