$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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