I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
