So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
