I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
