Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
