I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
