YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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