What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
