Sry I called you an 8
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
When are your genitals available?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
