Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
