I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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