The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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