it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
