Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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