Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
