Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize