I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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