his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize