Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
