OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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