Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
