Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
