just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's the barista slut.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize