is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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