you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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