Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just invented taco cereal.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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