i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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