The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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