some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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