why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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