I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
