I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
