I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My dick has a subreddit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
