Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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