So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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