normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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