Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
