ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
