remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
