Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
