Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
