I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
