Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
