Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
