My room smells like vodka and shame
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
