I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
