I just threw up on my dentist
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
