She is in my trunk
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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